


Personal Questions

by chronicAngel



Series: Leaves in the Summer [39]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alcohol, Drinking, F/M, First Time, Girls Night Out, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, POV Third Person, Sex Talk, girls night, ladies night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 17:26:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13253049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chronicAngel/pseuds/chronicAngel
Summary: She can't breathe. Or, rather, she can breathe, but every inhale feels like a stab in the chest and every exhale feels like pulling out the bloody knife to prepare for another blow.





	Personal Questions

**Author's Note:**

> This fic contains mentions of dubiously consensual sexual content with a minor, age thirteen. There is no detail, but the character does share her story with others and the aftereffects of this sort of experience are talked about. There are also mentions of consensual sexual content between two minors, age sixteen. If this is the sort of thing that makes you uncomfortable, this fic is not for you.

The entire interaction, she knows, looks and sounds like a joke.

The former Hokage, a tokubetsu jōnin, the former heiress to the Hyūga clan, the Yamanaka clan head, and the newly-wed strongest woman in the world sit in a booth in the corner of a cheap bar, all varying degrees of drunk. Anko knows that she's only the second most drunk because Tsunade is there, and she stares at Hinata in front of her and reflects with a laugh to herself that they both look dead sober. Her head is swimming and she's having the time of her life.

"So, what was everyone's first time like?"

And suddenly she's drowning. She can't breathe. Or, rather, she can breathe, but every inhale feels like a stab in the chest and every exhale feels like pulling out the bloody knife to prepare for another blow. She's drowning and she's bleeding out and she's choking. It's such an unexpected question that she's been thrown completely into the deep end, and is left coughing into her drink with flushed cheeks and banging her fist against her own chest, both so she doesn't choke and so that she can just feel _something._

"Oh come on, Tsunade-sama," Ino scoffs, throwing back a long sample of her own drink. "Aren't we all supposed to blush and giggle into our fingers and say that it was our husbands like proper ladies?"

"What a load of shit." Tsunade snorts, ordering another cup of sake from a waitress who looks like she isn't old enough to be working here. Her fingers curl around a menu like she might need to use it as a shield, and judging from the flush of her cheeks, she's either heard the entire conversation, or she's picked up on what she's missed from the context of what she has heard. "It's not an unreasonable thing for a group of adult women to talk about. Plus, it could be fun to hear about from the blushing bride." After a minute, she tips the new cup in her hand toward Sakura, before downing all of it in one gulp. Anko drinks from her own glass as well until it's empty and she can feel the burn all the way down her throat.

When they all stay quiet, Tsunade sighs like this is a big imposition and then shrugs. "Well, I'll tell you mine." Anko leans in, if only because the longer Tsunade talks about her own experiences, the longer Anko is allowed to stay quiet about hers. "I was eighteen and I thought I was going to die. Not because of the sex, mind you, that wasn't too bad, but we were on this dangerous mission and--"

Sakura cuts her off quickly, voice high and disgusted. "Your first time was with Jiraiya?"

Tsunade snorts into her drink. "Orochimaru."

The girls around the table all make various noises of disgust, with Sakura pulling a face and Ino yelling and Hinata trying to hide a disapproving sound in her drink. Anko, meanwhile, is once again trying not to choke while Tsunade waves her hand dismissively through the air. "He wasn't so bad back then. A whole lot better than Jiraiya would have been, that's for damn sure. I'll tell you one thing, you get some real perspective when your first time is in a dank cave and lasts an hour with the sound of explosions and men dying outside." Everyone's sober and quiet for a moment, until Hinata coughs and breaks the silence.

"Lee-san," she says quietly, and Anko almost doesn't hear her. Her soft voice is already hard to catch over the sound of energetic and drunk patrons around them, and the embarrassment that smothers her certainly isn't helping. Sakura and Ino seem to hear her though, as the pinkette makes a sound that can only be described as a yelp in surprise and the Yamanaka laughs.

She continues after a minute, when Ino elbows her in the side and implores her that they _have_ to hear that story. "We used to train together, sometimes." Her face reflects pain, like an old wound being stretched but not quite opened. "He'd come by looking for Neji-nii-san in the mornings and he'd always be busy. He was... sweet."

"I bet he lasted, like, two minutes," Ino says immediately, taking a long drink while Hinata flushes next to her. When she empties the glass, she slams it against the table, cackling. "Oh, oh, I bet he finished and was all, 'Youuuuth!'"

She and Sakura both laugh for a minute while Hinata looks like she wants to disappear into the leather of the booth's seats. "I guess that makes sense, though." Sakura says after a minute. "I mean, there was sort of a point in time where I knew he had moved on from me, but not onto someone else, like there was something that changed as opposed to someone. I liked that we could just be friends. So thanks, Hinata."

"Yeah," Ino chimes in, grinning devilishly the minute that Hinata looks like she's about to come out of hiding in her sweater. "I mean, I could never get past those eyebrows, but if anyone was gonna I'm not surprised that it was Hinata. Who else in the village would go for that weirdo?"

"Isn't he seeing that civilian girl? What was her name?" Anko speaks for the first time since the conversation began, but rather than getting an answer, she just hears Ino and Sakura both chime "Oh yeah" in unison. Hinata, on the other hand, seems grateful that the attention is off of her.

Everything falls into a sort of quiet lull.

Ino and Sakura argue quietly about something Anko doesn't have the energy to listen in to, forcing Hinata further into the wall, but Anko suspects she would be there anyway.

She thinks that their quiet argument is the only reprieve she's going to get. Tsunade seems just as bored with their argument as she is, and instead focuses on her drink, gulping down the rest of a large glass of sake and calling over the looks-too-young waitress. Eventually, the two of them slide out of the booth with an explanation that they're going to the bathroom and drag Hinata off with them, leaving Anko alone with one of the two women in the village she can confidently say is stronger than her. Neither of them says anything, but being alone with her strong presence helps Anko to relax after the question of first times was posed. She knows that she's going to be expected to share, and the idea of telling these kids about that sort of experience is vaguely terrifying to her, even if they are technically adults now.

She glances up from the surface of the table when they return, and they seem to have finally resolved their argument. Ino sighs loudly when she sits, holding a new glass that Anko supposes she got directly from the bar and staring into whatever green drink that fills it like she's trying to reflect on something. "It was with Shikamaru," she admits after a minute. Sakura looks smug and unsurprised, but Anko is taken aback. She knows that due to the clan alliances between the Akimichi, Nara, and Yamanaka clans, relationships between any two members are forbidden, especially members who would have been slated to become head. A small part of her wonders how voluntary their break-up was, even if she never knew about the relationship. A larger, more dramatic part of her wonders if there isn't something more illicit going on.

"We started dating when we were fifteen and couldn't tell anyone because of stupid clan rules. We were so wrapped up in our own heads at the time, I don't remember very much about it." She sighs wistfully, the hints of smile playing at her lips, and takes a sip of her drink. "We weren't on a mission or anything," she rushes to explain when Tsunade gives her a look. "We were sixteen. I think we were just trying to lose ourselves in each other after everything with Asuma, because neither of us really felt like dealing with it. There was one time where I just had this total break-down in his bed. I was just a total mess, and I wasn't even wearing a shirt!" She laughs despite the sadness in her voice and behind her story. Everyone stays quiet, as though they aren't sure whether or not they should be saying anything at all, and Hinata rests a hand on her back as though trying to comfort her in some small way. Eventually, she straightens and says, "So, Sakura, tell us yours."

She looks like she's recovered, but Anko can still feel a sadness lingering in the air, like everything went cold for a moment and the bar is still thawing out. On the other hand, Sakura's face is blooming pink with a blush like she's been caught in the middle of a summer heat wave, and she tucks her hair behind her ear in a move Anko suspects is just to hide the growing redness of her cheeks. Ino continues to prod her, elbowing her and poking her in the sides while insisting that it's sharing time. "I... haven't actually had sex yet," she coughs, hiding her face behind a full glass.

"Really?" Anko asks, leaning in with interest.

"Oh, come on!" Ino barks, leaning close into Sakura's personal space and practically draping herself over her shoulders. Anko suspects she might be a _bit_ drunk. "You seriously expect us to believe that you and Sasuke have been married for almost a month and you haven't done anything?"

She huffs loudly and stares off to the side, cheeks still blazing. "We haven't! It's actually kind of crazy... Everyone talked about how wild our wedding night was sure to be after the _'years of tension'_ , but we got home and he pretty much went straight to sleep. I think that many people being around was exhausting for him."

"You don't think he's not interested in that sort of thing, do you?" Hinata asks.

"Oh, he's interested." Tsunade laughs, leaning in close. "I bet he's just scared to get his ass kicked by everyone in the village for touching her. There are a lot of people who are still pretty apprehensive about him, and Sakura is one of the village's heroes. Most guys just have to worry about his wife's parents, but he's got everybody watching him like hawks. Even the civilians are everywhere." Anko laughs even as she was one of the first people to forgive Sasuke for his betrayal, which is largely because she understands what it's like to be seduced into leaving the village by Orochimaru. She shivers at how fitting that analogy is.

Her laugh dies in her throat as she hears, "So what about you, Anko?" She doesn't even register whose voice it was, freezing completely with her drink halfway to her lips and her eyes wide with what she can only describe as a deep and primal feeling of fear. She feels as though something has dug its claws into her sides and is holding her in place. She can't move. Once again, she can't breathe.

She feels a hand on her back, warm and calloused, and looks over to see Tsunade. Based on her sympathetic expression, she must know, or at least have an idea, of Anko's story. She takes a moment to stare at Tsunade's reassuring face, as though trying to soak it in.

Staring into her drink as opposed to looking at the women around her, she knows her voice is muttered but doesn't try to make it louder. "I left the village with my sensei when I was thirteen, not even a full year after I was promoted to chūnin. I thought he was the strongest and coolest person in the world... I wanted to be just like him. It was a few weeks after that. I was only thirteen... Orochimaru..." She chokes, cutting herself off and squeezing her eyes tightly shut, trying not to get tears in her drink. It's quiet for the rest of the hour before everyone slowly starts to return home. Hinata is the first to leave, mostly sober, and no one is surprised. Sakura and Ino leave together while arguing, something about Sai that Anko doesn't hear.

She leaves with Tsunade, leaning on the older woman just so she doesn't stumble. They're only at the beginning of one of the roads when Tsunade looks her over, her expression overly sympathetic. "You wanna get some dango?"

She nods rather than answering out loud. They don't talk again until they're at the door to her apartment, and she has two dango sticks in one hand. Tsunade stops her when her free hand is on the doorknob. "Are you alright?"

Looking over her shoulder, she considers this for a second. After a moment, "I'm... okay." She breathes.


End file.
